I want …

The fruit of the Spirit. I know there is a requirement. I know I have not met that requirement. But I want to.

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Galatians 5:22-24 The Voice 
Paul has been preaching about the call of God to freedom, and so he now spells it out: we are done with the demands of the law; now we are free to live in the Spirit and to be truly right with God. As free people, the Spirit gives us the characteristics of Jesus; we, too, can freely love in joy and peace. We can have patience along with kindness and faithfulness that can only come from the Father. We can reflect the goodness of God while being gentle in operating with self-control.

For those who follow Him and live in the Spirit, these characteristics or fruits are a gift from God. As we grow in the faith, we find that we belong to God and can walk daily in the Spirit.

 

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I want love … doesn’t everyone? I want the verb to love. Love is an action that manifests itself through relationships with one another. Love is welcoming, caring, helping, assisting, providing, protecting, embracing. Love is a shared feeling. Love, true love, multiplies and flourishes when it is reciprocated. Yes, love can exist for others without reciprocation, but we all need that which welcomes, comforts, assists, provides, protects, and embraces. I am one who loves to give hugs. I stop, put my arms around that person, give them my total attention, give of my body, mind, and soul. In order to fully experience this kind of hug, it takes two people daring to share that kind of intimate moment in time. I love hugs. I want hugs. I want to love and be loved. Help me feel that love, Lord; my love quotient is low. Amen

 

I want joy … thankfully I am very childlike. I see the world with wonder and awe. Joy comes into my life in many forms. I am blessed to have had and continue to have those overwhelming, unexplainable, magical, exuberant, joy-filled moments. Thank You, Lord. Amen

 

I want peace … in still quiet moments. You know me, Lord, stillness and quietness are not my natural states. Stillness that calms often eludes me; a quiet mind I can only imagine. Peace within relationships have almost been non-existent in my life. Oh, to be free from guilt, pain, anger, stress, that depresses, never up-lifts. Grant me peace, Lord, Your perfect peace. Amen

 

I want patience … though the saying goes, “Do not pray for patience, for you surely will find yourself tested by situations requiring more patience than you feel capable of giving.” God, I can’t handle any more lessons right now in handling patience. I’m fresh out. I want patience from others towards me. I am human; I have and continue to have made humongous mistakes; In trying to say what I feel I make enemies, not friends. In asking for consideration and fairness, I alienate those I love most dearly. I’ve done this so often, those that love me have been tested over and over again with how to have patience dealing with me. I can’t blame being bipolar on all my mistakes, in actions and words. Ultimately I am who I am and dealing with my diagnosis is an ongoing challenge that only I can manage. I need to let go, give up, let You take over. Help me give up, Lord. Amen

 

I want kindness … to continue to spring from me. I especially exhibit kindness towards the elderly. In talking with those that have seen much in their lifetime, I learn much. My compassion surprises even me. My joy overflows when I believe I have added joy to someone’s day. I have thought recently about volunteering in a nursing home or assisted living home; I think I could be an uplifting ambassador. I have been blessed, Father, with the ability to spread kindness. Amen

 

I want gentleness, tenderness, and mild-mannered, to be etched on my tombstone. I know this will never happen as my plan is to be cremated when the time comes; although it gives me pause to think of my body burning down to nothing but ashes; also, you can’t convince me it doesn’t hurt. Lord, how such a one as me gets around being gentle I do not know. Whatever I do, I do wholeheartedly and with all my might. There seems to be little room in there for gentleness. I guess the person I most need to be gentle with is myself. I beat up on myself regularly. Dear Lord, You know I am more good than bad. You know I work daily on myself. You also know I am my worst critic. Help me, Father, to see more of the good in myself and in what I do for others. I know it’s there; I need to recognize it more often and believe it. Amen

 

I want faithfulness to You strengthened. In my dark days I come to you; In my happy days I come to You, Lord; it’s not enough. I believe I trust You and have faith You are with me always. But there are moments, times, weeks, months, my faith is tested. You have spoken to me; You assured me in my most desperate moments. You said, “I’m right here.” I heard You loud and clear. How then can I lack faith? Pray for me, Father, my faith falters. Amen

 

I want goodness … to pour from me outwards towards others. Please, Lord, may my cup run over with goodness so that I may be a blessing to others. Amen

I have curly brown hair and have felt the following poem most accurately describes me.

There was a Little Girl

by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

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I want self-control … so that my horrid side is rare and unusual. Is that too much to ask? Self-control indicates that I must have control over myself. I think I have control over everyone and everything … wrong !

I was a teacher for thirty-seven years. Control issues come with the job.

 

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I need to be able to control a class, because without good discipline nothing worthwhile can be achieved.

To quote Barnaby Lenon, former headmaster, Harrow and Chairman of the Independent Schools Council, The Telegraph, Telegraph.co.uk, Sunday, September 16, 2018.

 

“Good teachers are those whom pupils will respect – and slightly fear if necessary. They are completely in control of what’s going on around them.”

 

I might add, good teachers are in complete control, though most of the students feel there is a tremendous amount of freedom of thought and ideas that flow from student to student and from teacher to student.

 

To go back to the original statement, I want self-control. To achieve this I need give up the idea that I am the supreme director of all those around me. Goodness gracious great balls of fire! This fruit of the Spirit is my Achilles heel.

Holy Spirit, Father, Son, grant me the ability to give up control. Only You are in complete control. Who am I to even imagine I have any power at all !! Come into my heart Holy Spirit and blow away all thoughts I have of controlling ANYTHING. Carry those false beliefs far from me. Scatter them, crush them, destroy them. Amen

 

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