I forgive myself, wherever I am

 

Please click on the following.

 

 

Where am I?

As a child I remember laughing and running and singing and swinging on my favorite swing. As an adult I have had those fun times as well. But there have been far too many sad times, crying times, hopeless times, unforgiving times, hurtful times.

Most of the hurt I’ve inflicted on myself. I am bipolar, and until I was in my forties did I discover what other’s around me knew all along. I had control issues, anger issues, pushing others out of my life issues, quickly followed by abandonment issues. In trying to make up for my mistakes and inabilities to control myself, I became a giver in the extreme. Gifting and doing for others became my way of begging forgiveness for who I was, for who I am. It hurts to put myself down that way.

Taking responsibility for my own illness, I sought out therapists, and psychiatrists who prescribed meds for me. I follow the med prescriptions, I make and attend regular appointments with my doctors and therapists.

It doesn’t cure all that is ‘me’, as I live and communicate and work with others who have their own problems. In this world one in four people at some point in their lives will be affected by mental or neurological disorders. Whose to say that the very people I am dealing with aren’t sicker than I am?

I can’t dwell on this topic much longer; it will make me sadder. I found some inspiring quotes that spoke to loving and forgiving myself.

Maybe they’ll speak to you as well.

 

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Yeah, I know those that know me might say, “You’re the ‘Drama Queen’, Miss Drama Teacher!” I always hated that label, ‘Drama Queen’. I taught drama, or creative dramatics, for over eighteen years. Learning to act, direct, perform, create, takes digging deep into yourself to bring out those things you’ve observed in others. Actors are given permission to take on persona not their own. Yes, we still, bring ourselves with us into the character we are trying to create; yet, the truly gifted artists, in my opinion, can’t recreate someone else’s character unless they are in touch with who they are themselves.

 

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Please click on the following … and have a “Better Day.”

 

 

 

One thought on “I forgive myself, wherever I am”

  1. Amen dear sister ,amen 🙏

    Margaret Smith, ABR®, CRS®, GRI®, SRES®
    Coldwell Banker Caine
    Cell & Text: (864) 270-1108

    “Celebrating 40 years in Greenville Real Estate”

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