it went bump in the night …

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Yep … it went bump all right !!

It was bumping and bopping and banging and clanging …

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slipping and sliding and flipping and flying …

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It was scary … I was wary …

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It was funny … like a bunny …

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It was brainy … kinda grainy …

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It was gooey … oh phooey …

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It was ME

don’t ‘chew 

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SEE !!!

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It was ME !!

I’m on a new medication; I was told that at times I could and probably would be jittery and restless.  Ya think !!??

For the past two nights I have gotten little to no sleep. Night before last, I cleaned out all the drawers in my bathroom. I threw out the old and organized the new. I then gave myself a complete facial. Then last night, as I lay in the guest bedroom … yes, I was too antsy to stay in our bedroom … so … I tried to keep my antsy-ness to myself. The bed topper in the master bedroom was new and the old one I had stashed in the closet in the guest bedroom. I got up … pulled all the sheets, mattress pads, covers, everything off. I lugged from the closet the very heavy and bulky queen mattress topper. Not knowing if it would fit the full-sized bed, I tugged and tussled and managed to get it on the bed and fit comfortably inside the mattress cover; I neatly put the fitted sheet and the flat sheet set on, and climbed in to see and feel the results. It was delightful!

I still couldn’t sleep.

I got up and went downstairs.

Try to make a bad situation better and invariably it makes it worse.

I’m officially taking myself off this new drug.

Dear Lord, what is it about chemical imbalance that makes me not okay to be me? Yes, thank You SO much for bringing my head doctor into my life. He has been and is a life saver! I’m just talking in general. Without the chemicals today that can help balance me, what would I be? More acceptable in Your sight? less? I think … I know the answer to that is a resounding, “NO!”

Is there another way out of mental disorders like mine, bipolar, that can be handled without drugs? I’ve often thought the demons that Jesus caused to flee from tortured souls in the Bible were indeed souls such as me. In sending my demons from me … telling them to, “Flee!” … wouldn’t I be saying that You made a mistake in how and why You made me, Lord? I don’t believe You ever make mistakes. I don’t feel like a mistake. I just feel bad sometimes when my “me” is too … way too active, too MUCH “me”. I feel bad when my “me” is too … way too sad.

Having said that … who I am … without my meds … is an amusement ride full of ups and downs … monsters and clowns; a ride many choose to take cause it’s a challenge, a rush, a blast!

 

 

Monsters and clowns …

bumps in the night …

bumps by day …

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lumps in my throat …

as silent tears slip away …………….

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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2 thoughts on “it went bump in the night …”

  1. Jan, sorry to hear you are not feeling well. Reading your post wore me out. I do have to admit that as I was picturing your actions I had to chuckle. Even in distress you can be humorous. Get better. 💐❤️🌹❤️

  2. I didn’t take that pill this morning. I think … I know I’ll be calling my good doctor tomorrow morning. I do feel a bit better now that I didn’t take it today. Thanks for thinking of me, Sweet Mel. jan

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