I need a hug …

 

The word cancer makes me cringe, cower, shrink, recoil; it terrifies me. After having lost Daddy, Mother, and sister within five years to cancer, it is no wonder I fear a diagnosis about my own health. My doctor was my sister’s doctor, and he well understands my legitimate concerns. Cancer was never in my family’s history until 2011 when Daddy was diagnosed with aggressive prostate cancer. He survived eleven months. Mother was diagnosed three weeks after Daddy passed; she had multiple myeloma, bone marrow cancer; she survived five years. My sister had peritoneal ovarian cancer, a rare form of ovarian cancer; she survived three years. Mother and sister passed two months apart.

I am having a hard time getting past the suffering, pain, treatments, and eventual deaths of my immediate family at the hands of this dreaded disease. My blog has been so very helpful, has been my therapy, in dealing with this triple loss. Sometimes, I think I write too much about my heartbreak … get over it already, Jan. But I am seeing I will never get over losing three of the most important people in my life.

At my last visit to my doctor, I had a concern, and bless him, he knows me, and he tried to save my sister. He is not taking any of my symptoms for granted. He told me that as soon as my head tells me I’m gonna be OK, then I will be OK. He doesn’t poo-poo my fears.

It’s been a year now since Mother and sister passed. My remaining sister and I have tried to be vigilant about our health. OK, I could definitely eat more vegetables and much LESS sugar … but … I haven’t changed my lifestyle yet. I love to eat! I am not overweight, but, a good 15 pounds off would look soooo good off me.

Dear Lord, I am not going to linger on this topic. I want to thank You for the healthy years I have had; I thank You for the many blessings that You have provided; I thank You for the many freedoms afforded me through my teaching career and now into my retirement years; I thank You for the time I have needed to care for both my parents; I give You all the Glory and Honor for allowing time for my sister and me to renew our relationship.

I have nothing I really need today; so many of my wants are mine for the asking; please forgive my fears and uncertainties; hold my hand tighter, Dear Lord, Your child is just scared; I don’t know the future; it is not mine to know; for that I am grateful. Help me to relax; my high-strung, wired, and OK dramatic personality can dream up so many scenarios. That is time wasted that I could be enjoying right here, right now.

I want to let it all go and turn my fears over to You, Lord. I can’t handle them and I am tired of carrying them around. I can’t even let this go on my own. Help me, Papa. Your child needs a hug. I’m crying with my head on Your knees. Please pull me up and hold me close. Thank You, I love you, jan

 

 

Matthew 6:34  The Message 
Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.

 

Psalm 34:4  Good News Translation 
I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me; he freed me from all my fears.

 

Philippians 4:6-7  The Message 
Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.

 

 

Worry is a misuse of imagination. ~Dan Zadra

 

I keep the telephone of my mind open to peace, harmony, health, love and abundance. Then, whenever doubt, anxiety or fear try to call me, they keep getting a busy signal — and soon they’ll forget my number. ~Edith Armstrong

 

For peace of mind, resign as general manager of the universe. ~Author Unknown

 

Fear:  False Evidence Appearing Real.  ~Author Unknown

 

 

God Will Take Care Of You
Author: Civilla D. Martin  1904

 

Be not dismayed whate’er betide,
God will take care of you;
Beneath His wings of love abide,
God will take care of you.

 

God will take care of you,
Through every day,
O’er all the way;
He will take care of you,
God will take care of you.

 

Through days of toil when heart doth fail,
God will take care of you;
When dangers fierce your path assail,
God will take care of you.

 

God will take care of you,
Through every day,
O’er all the way;
He will take care of you,
God will take care of you.

 

No matter what may be the test,
God will take care of you;
Lean, weary one upon His breast,
God will take care of you.

 

God will take care of you,
Through every day,
O’er all the way;
He will take care of you,
God will take care of you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cringe

synonyms:
cower, shrink, recoil, shy away, flinch, draw back

5 thoughts on “I need a hug …”

    1. thank you … thank you … thank you … ttttthhhhhhhaaaaannnnnkkkkk yyyooouuuu !!!
      I felt the hug … I really did. Thanks Mel !!

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