You Am … not I Am

I looked up the word, outlier. One of the definitions I found was: someone who stands apart from others of his or her group, as by differing behavior, beliefs, or religious practices.

Lord, am I an outlier? Am I standing apart from others’ beliefs? Am I standing apart from You? I want to belong to You! I want You to gather me to Yourself! I want not to ever stand apart from You. Therefore, I will put down my thoughts and listen for Yours.

Why am I calling a halt to my blogging for now? I am fighting a battle within and without. I need to know where the conflict lies. I need to put aside my agenda. I need to become part of Yours.

Dear Lord, I am heartsick. Why am I blogging? Why am I editing? Why am I writing for hours? Is it for Your Glory? Or mine? Be still my hands. Be still my thoughts. Be still my words. Be still my actions. Be still and know You, Dear Lord, are God Almighty!

I pray You will open my ears to hear You; open my eyes to see You; open my heart to discern what Your will for my life should be; open my soul to absorb Your Truth!

To my followers, I am taking a break from my writing until God tells me, shows me, places in my heart what paths HE would have me take.

May the Lord Bless and Keep You all safely in His Loving Arms.   Amen

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Outliersomeone who stands apart from others of his or her group, as by differing behavior, beliefs, or religious practices:

One thought on “You Am … not I Am”

  1. Jan, I am so sorry that I have not been in touch with you. As Pat Wade says, I have just been “in my hidey- hole.” I haven’t read all of your posts – I save them all – your writing makes me think and feel. I have to have the mental energy, and I just haven’t had it all the time. I just feel like I need to let you know that your writing is powerful. As I said before, I almost feel guilty – it’s like I’m reading a daily devotional that I did not pay for. I know that you told me this is part of your grief therapy – the blogging. I know you are creative , artsy, dramatic, perfectionist – and deeply spiritual. I’m just going to share an observation. A couple of days ago your post was dealing with the anniversary of your mom’s death. You bravely shared that yours was not a perfect relationship. Is it her negative voice that you are listening to now? I’m just thinking that she has always had the power to make you doubt yourself – is that voice the one you are listening to now? You don’t have to. Your writing is powerful. It is a gift – to you and from you. You decide if it is helping you or hurting you. If you are spending too much time, you can adjust that. If you are enjoying accolades – nothing wrong with that! – you are an artist after all. If it has healed you, and you are ready to move on – that’s okay, too. I can’t imagine that anyone who has read your blog doubts the place God has in your actions. I felt I needed to send you this. If it annoys or angers – don’t stay that way too long. With love, Tracey

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