Quicksilver

 

 

Have I ever been wise, shrewd, cautious, wary, discreet, frugal? Prudent, I’m not. Mercurial I am; like quicksilver, I rapidly change moods with little to no warning. Boring, I’m not; challenging, I am; frustrating, I am; delightful, I can be.

No one knows me better than family; to their credit, they do know my changeability is caused by a chemical imbalance; medication moderates the ups and downs-most of the time. Most of the time, they can at least understand why I behave the way I do, even if I am extremely difficult to deal with; even then, it is a hard life for my family and loved ones, trying to love me.

Most of my life I just thought I was a bad child, a flighty adolescent, a volatile emotional feminine mess! It wasn’t until my early forties that I was diagnosed. I am bipolar rapid cycling. I didn’t know what this was and didn’t think the medicine prescribed did anything to help me. Years went by; I continued on my up and down rollercoaster, taking anyone near me for a ride as well. Pleasant it was not. I rode this ride into my fifties; I finally found a doctor that knew what to prescribe to keep me from taking off into the stratosphere; he knew what meds kept me from falling into that familiar abyss.

I am still not wise, shrewd, cautious, wary, discreet, or frugal. But I am centered in a way I’ve not been before. You, Dear Lord, knew the pain I was causing myself and those around me. Many a night You rocked me to sleep as I sobbed into your chest; no one could loathe me, punish me, abhor me; I accomplished that on my own.

Thank You, Lord, for finding the help I needed. Thank You for not giving up on me. Thank You for Your insistence that I was Your precious child; that You made me perfectly equipped to do Your Will. Amen

 

2 Corinthians 12:8-10  Living Bible

Three different times I begged God to make me well again. Each time he said, “No. But I am with you; that is all you need. My power shows up best in weak people.” Now I am glad to boast about how weak I am; I am glad to be a living demonstration of Christ’s power, instead of showing off my own power and abilities. Since I know it is all for Christ’s good, I am quite happy about “the thorn,” and about insults and hardships, persecutions and difficulties; for when I am weak, then I am strong—the less I have, the more I depend on him.

 

 

Leaning on the Everlasting Arms 

Lyrics by Elisha Hoffman 1887

Music by Anthony J. Showalter

 

What a fellowship, what a joy divine,
Leaning on the everlasting arms;
What a blessedness, what a peace is mine,
Leaning on the everlasting arms.

 

Refrain

Leaning, leaning, safe and secure from all alarms;
Leaning, leaning, leaning on the everlasting arms.

 

O how sweet to walk in this pilgrim way,
Leaning on the everlasting arms;
O how bright the path grows from day-to-day,
Leaning on the everlasting arms.

Refrain

 

What have I to dread, what have I to fear,
Leaning on the everlasting arms;
I have blessed peace with my Lord so near,
Leaning on the everlasting arms.

Refrain

 

 

 

 

 

 

Prudent:  marked by wisdom or sound judgement; shrewd in the management of practical affairs; marked by being cautious, wary, and unwilling to take risks; discreet; frugal.

 

One thought on “Quicksilver”

  1. Wonder what the thorn in Paul’s side was ?

    Margaret Smith, ABR®, CRS®, GRI®, SRES®
    Coldwell Banker Caine
    Cell & Text: (864) 270-1108

    “Celebrating 40 years in Greenville Real Estate”

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